Anyone with even a trace of experience in theater has encountered the ideology of “yes, and?” in which acceptance to suggestion is where the magic happens. A standup troupe will ride the coattails of the audience suggestions and look for mutual shapes in the clay borne of the mind. No idea, however stupid, can be rejected. How can we use this mental tool to allow the mentally ill to flourish?
Before we choose this mentality as the most resilient and optimal, let’s think of other frameworks offered by mental health professionals.
In a similar vein is the “so what?” mentality. This is a step down from “yes, and?” but this second type of questioning is what my therapist would often promulgate.
This is how I would explain DBT, or dialectical behavior therapy.
Let’s define our terms here. P⟹Q (P implies Q) can be equivalently expressed as
if P, then Q.
Take two input variables P and Q which we evaluate P⟹Q. Stating “yes, and?” as predicate P, True, and “so what?” as predicate P, False, we see that the SO WHAT truth table will always evaluate the expression to True!
This is because if P is False, no “condition” needs to be satisfied!
More concretely…
P) I did NOT win the lottery (False)
Q) I will buy a pizza (True) or I won’t buy a pizza (False)
If P, then Q. You can buy or not buy a pizza, and regardless the whole sentence still holds True. You didn’t break any promises! Unfortunately also, this means that if your assumptions are wrong, your conclusion can be wrong as well.
As it applies to life… which is better? YES AND or SO WHAT? Can I use logic equations to better the human condition? SO WHAT means I can tolerate a wider variety of situations while YES AND requires a more robust, collaborative state of mind. Each has its benefits, events, and outcomes. So the use case is situation-specific.
SO WHAT is a method of internal dialogue and self regulation.
YES AND used judiciously can in fact be used by loved ones to affirm a mental patient in distress. It does not deny from one’s experience. It’s a latent sit with the person experiencing symptoms from the inside.
At the root of schizophrenia is the division of symptoms into positive and negative categories. Positive versus negative: excess versus a lack of function. You could argue that positive symptoms of schizophrenia are a twisted trick of the mind which the mindset YES AND can also manifest as. Hallucinations and distortions are “running away with an idea” to the extreme, and difficult to express to people on the outside.
On multiple occasions this weekend I was able to share what was going on in my head. And the best part was how no one was perturbed, disturbed, or ready to report me. We just kept going, with the food and games and chatter. This week was a breakthrough for me. Instead of apologizing, a clever thank you felt sufficient.
~DANCE BREAK~
Who would have known having access to magic would be so tiring.
Scouring the Emergency Room for clues like an ant. Taking the pills the color of Matisse. Scaring the staff on duty with my glazed stare, limbs protruding from my shirt holes, balls rolling and curving; asking and hungry.
“Is it better to be wise or the fool. The FOOL.” I crumble the pills in my hands.
It’s hard in those spaces for people to support your humanity. So when there was a staff member who took the time to say hello and a kind word or two… My Sorries became Thank Yous.
~COFFEE BREAK~
After coffee with a dear friend, I decided to construe my aspirations a little more myopic. We discussed the two axes of confidence and competence, for which pure arrogance — aka outsmarting the masses — is required for any marginal success. So then, as an adult lacking ambition, I set my sights with the people I love as the focal point, not me.
If I am disabled, so be it. I pivot towards cultivating spaces for others. And allow for them to break the barriers of what is truly possible. It’s no longer up to me.