is what my family members affectionately describe as my grandfather in his youth
but intelligence is not a precursor to pain
when he comes to visit, he checks the shoes on the rack for comfort and size
knowing that there was a time when he lacked the very choice and luxury
and that to me is so symbolic
not antinatalist like me but instead preventing the same pain while celebrating the next generation
somehow I feel differently
the bitter taste of trauma and worry and discomfort
is what I would wish upon anyone
because from pain breeds
humility
generosity
humor
and most of all, a love for the terrible human condition.