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Heart of a champion
I coach badminton twice a week to an age demographic of young children to teens. And after a few years, I begin to understand why some teachers favor some students over others. It’s not a matter of “teacher’s pet.” What makes some kids over others is the personality and fortitude with which they choose to…
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Ownership, possession, and envy
It takes time and careful collation to see what is yours, and what isn’t. Stuck in the vending machine In the realm of belongings and objects, here’s an example of my desire to engulf my surroundings. A friend’s mother gave me rights to a vending machine, through which I could generate revenue without paying her…
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Rage against the machine
In my mind, the most important aspect of fighting this degenerative brain disease is to foresee and visualize the worst possible outcomes. In moments where I begin to refuse treatment, my mother encourages me to think a few steps ahead. I would freefall through the mental healthcare system, and even be institutionalized on a state…
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I’m mildly pissed today.
This is not the first time I’ve heard “that’s not you.” When I experimented heavily with my appearance in freshman year of university, my lab mate told me: “Just be yourself.” Who is she to know what kinds of mannerisms are authentic and which are not? The idea of purity, authenticity; the idea that a…
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A sweet moment
Today my mother mentioned to me in passing: “I’ll do your hair when you get married.” Me? Given my illness, even claiming to have a future feels perilous. But I look to the future with cautious optimism. Fundamentals: nurturing relationships, remaining busy with meaningful work, prioritizing family and personal health above all. Maybe my life…
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Selling a dream
Somehow my YouTube reintroduced me to a childhood favorite movie of mine: Kung Fu Panda. There are so many lines and scenes to love: but the line that hit hardest came from the antagonist Tai Lung. He accused his master of selling him the fantasy that his future was set as the successor of Kung…
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What lays past the mirage
For the past three years, I’ve been fixated on certain interpersonal interactions in my life, namely virtual ones. I have a soft spot for a thoughtful SMS, as I believe text as a media is a more thoughtful, nuanced capture of the soul. Looking at a message gives you time to prepare how you want…
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Peculiarity
I woke up a few days ago with a fruit sticker label thoroughly adhered to my left nipple. Well played, FBI. Well played.
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The case for (not social) media
It’s not controversial to say that social media, is on the whole, toxic. Fostering a thick, musky layer of conceit, sensationalism, and self-aggrandizement, nowhere in its algorithms does it seem to value truth. In addition, Tik Tok or YouTube cannot express nuance that requires over twenty minutes to communicate. Other long-form types of media, however,…
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Approaching the limit of authenticity
When it comes to breakdancing, I would not call myself a b-girl. I’m in the suburbs, rather affluent and maybe not in a situation that warrants movement as a way to stay off the streets, in the manner that breaking originated. But nevertheless, I am seeking heartfelt dancing. The kind that rewards and fulfills oneself…