If you read Pressfield’s The War of Art, he makes a grand assumption that everyone has “voices” asking you to stop when you are making any kind of artistic progress. This normalizes the playing field for us schizophrenics.
In a similar vein, I wonder if the same, overcoming deep resistance in the face of nagging insecurity, can be said about higher education.
Most days in my freshman year I couldn’t read the board through my tears.
These days, I haven’t cried for a long time now, on this crazy journey of light and love and sound.
I now want to go to school not just because I trusted my parents to auto-pilot my education in my early years.
I can do this. I can complete a STEM degree, but it’ll probably mean transferring schools.
My first step? To retake standardized testing, both ACT and SAT. If I can’t even do well there, then I will hang up on university once and for all.